Stuck in Hummingbird Mode?

I hope you're well. This week, I've been paying close attention to the hummingbird feeder we recently set up on our patio. Within an hour after we put it out there, one hummingbird claimed it as his own. Now he sits nearby all day, fiercely guarding it and chasing away any other bird who gets anywhere near the feeder:

I can't help but check on the hummingbird whenever I pass by the feeder ~ and there he is in a nearby tree, on the job. The feeder is his whole life; it's the only thing that seems to matter. And he’s so busy defending it that ~ from what I can tell ~ he spends his entire day in high-alert survival mode.

Here’s another thing: this feeder has five perches. And when we change out the nectar, there’s always plenty left. So, there’s more than enough to share ~ and maybe even make a friend or two. But he doesn't seem interested in sharing or making friends.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I can get into a kind of hummingbird mode, too. For me, it looks like keeping a tight grip on the things I think I can control (like the dishwasher) when bigger things feel overwhelming.

When I put my focus there, my world narrows to a tiny sliver. Doing this gives me a hollow sense of control, but leaves me disconnected from myself and the people I love. Sometimes it can even feel like having a “properly” loaded dishwasher matters more than having a loving connection with my partner.

Of course, hummingbird mode may be necessary for hummingbirds ~ with such high metabolism, protecting their food supply is a matter of survival.

But for us humans, it’s different. Stress can trick us into guarding, fighting, running or freezing ~ even when our lives aren’t actually in danger. And we can get stuck in that way of thinking; those all-or-nothing stories that we tell ourselves. Maybe you've noticed yourself doing this, too?

What helps me get unstuck is having a set of practices ~ simple, creative ways to notice when I’m caught in stress and "stuck" stories ~ and to step back, see more clearly, and move forward with compassion.

If you'd like to try one of these practices, you can download my free one-minute art journaling practice, Accepted As You Are.