Playing by the Rules of Both/And

Here we are in early September ~ and it has a kind of hard-to-name feel, doesn't it?

It's still warm ~ unusually warm around here. But it's also not exactly summer anymore. And at the same time, (despite all the Halloween candy and decorations you see in stores) it's not really fall. So it can feel a bit disorienting, like: “Where are we? What season is this anyway?”

You can think of it as the both/and. We're somewhere in between, in a process. Things are changing and we have not arrived at our destination. It's not one thing or another. Of course, that's how life is all the time, too! But you may find that you are more in touch with it at this particular time of year. And it can be uncomfortable!

As I was reflecting on this while also navigating the tropically high temperatures and humidity, I remembered something I learned on a trip to Bali about 13 years ago.

My friend and I stayed in Ubud for a week, and as we visited different sites, I kept seeing a black and white checkered fabric, sometimes with red, too. It looked like a kind of gingham. I saw it wrapped around statues and sometimes around the trunks of large trees. I couldn't help but wonder what it meant.

A few days into our trip, we signed up for a Balinese cooking class, and as we walked toward the outdoor kitchen, I saw a statue wrapped in the fabric. And then we were each given an ingredient to chop, a knife, and an apron made of the black and white fabric. More clues! But what did they mean?

After we finished cooking and eating lunch, I asked the teacher if the fabric had a specific meaning. He said that it provides a kind of spiritual protection, and that it also symbolizes the universal principle that opposites coexist (similar to yin/yang): there's no light without dark, no joy without sorrow, no day without night. Both/and.

The fabric itself was a kind of wordless teaching that we contain multitudes and that there is a sacredness in the both/and. That being alive, being whole and ~ in a sense being holy ~ is so much fuller and richer than good or bad. There is a cosmic balance.

So often, we get a message that holy things are separate from what's not holy. But this black and white fabric was a simple, everyday reminder that good is not separate from bad. It was a profound thing to see that gingham everywhere and to understand what it meant in this culture.

I look for the both/and spirit in everyday life, and it is a real help. How about you? What if, the next time something goes “wrong” or differently from what you expect, you consider that it's part of a bigger picture?

The inner critic will probably try to convince you that you failed again and that it's all your fault. But you don't have to buy into it. Maybe you can remember the sacredness of opposites, and that even if you did get it “wrong”, even wrong is holy. It's not separate from right. You don't have to play by the inner critic's rules. You can play by the rules of both/and 🏁

Sending supportive energy your way as you navigate the both/and ❤️

Do you know someone who could use a reminder that opposites coexist and it's ok to make mistakes? Feel free to pass this along to them.