Maybe & Sometimes

Have you noticed that uncertainty is on your mind a lot more than it was, say, six years ago? Or even 10 years ago? Maybe we are in a new “age” or era. We had the Atomic/Space age in the mid-20th century, and then we entered the Information Age in the early 1970s. And from what I can tell that’s basically where we've been ever since. 

But in the last 10 years (particularly since Covid), it seems we've crossed over into the Age of Uncertainty. While we humans have never really known what was going to happen next, the intensity and extremes of change in the last decade have brought not-knowing into the collective foreground.

One of the things we discussed was how uncertainty is at the heart of being human. So it's not something we can avoid, even if we might wish we could. We also talked about how uncertainty can actually help us have a greater sense of possibility. It’s not always scary.

There's a Zen teaching story that I often think about when life events seem dim and I could use a one-word reminder about the inherent possibility in each moment. At the beginning of the story, we meet a farmer who has one son and one horse to help him tend the crops.

The farmer wakes up one morning and discovers that his horse has run away. His neighbors see what has happened and they come by and bemoan his fate. “Oh no! This is bad! Such bad luck!” And the farmer responds with one word:

“Maybe.”

The next day, the horse returns, and it brings three wild horses with it. So now the farmer has four horses. His neighbors notice and come over to celebrate. “Wow! Look at that! This is so good – such good luck!” Again, the farmer responds with one word:

“Maybe.”

A few days later, the farmer’s son is out in the field training one of the wild horses, when he is thrown from the horse and breaks his leg. The neighbors see what happened and say, “This is so bad – who is going to help you? What horrible luck!” And, true to form, the farmer simply says:

“Maybe.”

The following week a General's army troops over the hill near the farm – he is rounding up able-bodied men to fight in a battle. Because the farmer's son has a broken leg, he does not have to go to battle. The neighbors stop by and say “What good luck – you will have your son at home with you!” And the farmer replies:

“Maybe.”

Clearly this could go on and on and on until the story stops there and while his delivery seems a little flat, the farmer was on to something.

What’s good luck? What’s bad luck? How do we know? It’s often impossible to put our real-time experience in context.

If you tend to catastrophize in the face of uncertainty, or blame yourself for not having answers or not knowing what to do, perhaps the farmer’s one-word perspective can help you let go of some of your own “Maybe” in the moment. Is there something in your life right now that you can say “Maybe” to? Maybe it is good? Maybe it isn't? Is it okay for you to not have the answers? Maybe it is.

While answers can certainly be comforting, “maybe” can ground and comfort us.

Plus, the inner critic really doesn’t know what to do with “maybe” because the critic relies on black-and-white thinking. Introducing uncertainty in a self-compassionate manner can be a kind of aikido move!

While writing this note to you, a poem came to mind. I hope you find it supportive.

Sometimes

by Sheenagh Pugh

Sometimes things don't turn out after all,
from bad to worse. Some years, marvellous!
Faces crowed from street corners; the crops don't fail.
Sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war,
elect an honest man, decide they care
enough that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best intentions do not go
awry; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen; may it happen for you.

❤️

Wishing you an easeful week with at least one “maybe” moment that helps you feel a sense of possibility ❤️